Not two, but one

I thought this picture was pretty neat. Nathan was on a short TDY (temporary duty) to Guam last month, and had one of his co-workers snap his picture. It's a bit dark, so you can't really see him very well against the palm tree, but I'm sure y'all are more interested in the sky! LOL :o) I think that's the sun rising, but I can't quite remember... it might have been setting (he was working some strange shift hours that week).

Speaking of crazy work schedules, Nathan has had 12-hour work days all this week. It wouldn't be that big of a deal if it were for an actual reason... an exercise, inspection, or something along those lines. Right now, though, things have gotten a bit hectic at work for my hubby, and he's been very stressed out with the entire situation. If any of you think about it, please pray that the situation with Nathan's shop will soon be resolved, as morale is very low with the entire group. :o( It has been a crazy time with all of the supervisors coming down very hard on him and the shop for many little things; they are struggling with trying to get their work done in a timely manner, as they are interrupted quite often.

Growing up in church, I always knew that once a couple married, they were no longer two people -- but rather, they became one. I knew that; it was a given. Logically (in my mind) I understood how it was supposed to work. I guess I just wasn't prepared emotionally for what exactly that phrase meant. In the past year I've discovered that being one means when he is hurting, it hurts me, too; when he is upset, I get upset along with him; when he is stressed with work, I feel that stress, too.

Early in our marriage (okay, so we're technically still in the early stages of marriage, lol. You know what I'm trying to say, right?), it was hard for me not to become snippy or sulky when he came home grumpy after work. After being home alone all day (just me and our kitty), I would be excited for him to get off of work, and expected him to be just as excited to see me. I soon discovered that, although he was happy to see me, he wasn't ready to be as perky like I was. He needed his time to unwind, relax for a minute, and just breathe. Now I've learned to meet him at the door with a big hug and kiss, help him hang his hat and keys, prepare his dinner plate, pour him an ice-cold drink, rub his shoulders, and just listen. Things go much smoother when I remember that men are different from women (how I could forget that, I have no idea!); he's not my girlfriend who wants to chatter all the time. ;o) He's my husband who needs a few minutes of space sometimes... and then I can chatter with him, hehehe :P I know the Bible tells husbands to dwell with their wives according to knowledge, but I think we wives would benefit if we practiced the same principle with our husbands. :o) Praise the Lord that I have such a wonderful, patient husband who loves me in spite of my shortcomings! :P


Rhonda said...

Sounds like you figured out soemthing that took some of us YEARS to figure out!

Also, I find that it does not help to try to talk someone out of a bad mood. Sometimes it just makes it worse. You're doing fine. I am sure he appreciates your wisdom and "ministry"


Laura said...

I hate it when Brandon comes home grumpy from work. But if I did what he did, and had the coworkers/bosses/etc. I would be the same exact way!!! He works outisde in 100 degree weather!After being home alone with someone who cant talk back to me, I yearn for someone to talk to...and yeah, sometimes I have to remember to let him unwind before I go babbling about who knows what!!! I love your blogs, Laney!! Keep them up. Write a bunch so that when I get to Florida I have something to read and make me feel at home :) I love you and your blogs, hehe.

Happymama said...

Sweet Arlene, you remind me so much of me when Bruce and I were stationed in Germany and I was learning all about being a wife. I think you're getting it!!

When Bruce comes home from work, I follow him through the house, to the bathroom, and the whole time I'm just talking up a storm. He says I'm like a cat and all he can hear is "Meow meow...Meow meow!" But I'll tell ya, most men need that attention when they come home. It's all right if they want to be quiet. But they do love the fact that we're still happy to see them when they've been out working all day.

And I'll say a prayer for your husband. My hubby hasn't had a day off in 22 days. He's exhausted. But he took Sunday off, so that will be a good break for him. He'll be in church all day, but that's just the break he needs.


Arlene said...

Rhonda, thank you for the encouragement! Sometimes it is hard to remember that I can't always talk Nathan out of his bad mood -- I have tried before, and it just does not work! You should have told me sooner, LOL! ;o)

Ay, Laura, I hope I can keep this routine up after the baby is born... It's fine with me and Abby because I can just get out of the house anytime I want. Iono about doing that with a baby (plus we'll be in a new place!) You'll give me lots of advice though, right? See, this is why it's good to have a best friend who does everything first! ;o) Then I can learn the easy way :~) I will think of you when I'm writing blogs, hehehe :o) Have fun in FL!!!!! Love you, girly!

Kristi, it seems that many Christian military wives are able to understand each other really well... I guess that's because we have the common background with the military. LOL, I follow Nathan around everywhere, too -- you're not alone! I try to give him a few minutes of peace first, though. ;) I'm glad your hubby was finally able to take a day off! I know it will help to refresh and revive him.

P.S. how long were y'all in the AF? And at what base in Germany were you stationed? For our next overseas base, we want to put in for Europe, too, and we were thinking about Germany. :)

Mrs.B. said...

What Rhonda said is so true....you figured something out that takes many wives YEARS to figure out.

I wasn't a Christian when I got married so I've been trying to catch up for awhile now! LOL (o;

One of the things that helped me quite a bit was a book by Keepers of the Faith called 'Are You Serious About Marriage?' I've learned quite a bit from it....now putting it into practice?.....that's an entirely different matter! LOL I'm always working on that. *sigh*

Arlene said...

Have you ever read "Have a Heavenly Marriage" by David Sorenson? (Sword of the Lord publishers) Our pastor had us read the book while we were going through pre-marital counseling sessions. I'll have to look into ordering the book you mentioned; I'm sure it will be a good book, and then I can talk to Pastor about including it in our church library. Thanks for the advice! You are such an encouragement to me, Mrs. B! :o)