My whole life, I've been taught that God answers prayers. Hears our cries. Knows our hearts. My whole life, I've believed that, but this past week, I've learned to believe it with all of my heart.
After we lost the baby, it was really rough for a few days. I cried myself to sleep, my airman holding me tight, three nights in a row. (The days were a lot easier to get through because I could keep busy and push things to the back of my mind.)
I wasn't angry with God for what happened, but my heart was just hurting. Despite what some may have us believe, life begins at conception. It was a baby. We lost someone.
We have so many great friends, an understanding family, and a wonderful church family (from past churches and our current church). Everyone has been so encouraging to us during this time. We haven't felt "alone" while dealing with this; there has always been someone -- or Someone -- close by.
Still, I wanted something more...
I wanted flowers.
I know it seems such a silly request -- especially to some who may not consider this to be a great loss of a family member -- but, in my heart, I told the Lord I needed flowers to help with the hurt. I never spoke the words aloud to anyone. Not to my husband or anyone else. I just assumed I would have to grieve without them.
And then, a friend approached me today with the most beautiful pink bouquet. Oh, how I cried. They were happy tears, though, for I knew the Lord had heard my prayers -- just as He promised He would.