1/1/11

Grateful

Two years ago, I was still trying to accept what had taken place...  The questions I asked myself then still return to me sometimes.  I'll never understand why we lost our sweet little baby, but when I gaze into my little guy's eyes, I know I have no cause for complaint.   I take hold of those sweet little fingers and smile.
I think of the incredible birth story I wouldn't have experienced.  The adorable little grins I would be missing out on.  
My heart still sometimes aches for that little baby I never had a chance to meet, but I see how much our boys love each other, and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.
I may not know just why the Lord chooses to allow certain things to happen, but I know He knows what He's doing.  I know He showed Himself more to me in that time of my life than ever before.  I know He knows best.  And I know I'm grateful to hold two sweet little boys in my arms this year.  

3 comments:

JenT said...

Those are great pictures.
I know what you mean. I sometimes wonder about the 2 waiting for us in Heaven. But I'm so grateful for the 10 here with us on earth.

Jendi said...

I also have 2 waiting in Heaven. My heart aches and is glad at the same time. It was my darkest time and the time I relied on the Lord the most.
Thank you for sharing.

Kristi said...

Amen, Arlene. (((hugs))) I've never lost a baby, but I've always felt sad because I was told not to have any more. If one doctor had told me or even two, I wouldn't have listented. But God gave me EIGHT doctors and they all told me the same thing. It broke my heart. Sometimes our family of five will sit around the table and I'll wonder what special little person that sixth empty chair may have held. But you're right, He knows best and He's in control. I'm thankful for the three sweethearts God has given me. I look forward to my grandbabies, though, I have to tell ya!! If the Lord doesn't come back before then, there's gonna be some spoiled little grandchildren around this house! LOL

~Kristi