Those Days

I've had {more than} one of those days. Those days that seem endless because My Airman has been away for a few weeks, but has still not been gone long enough to have reached the halfway point of our separation.

Those days when sweet friends bring dinner, and end up doing the dishes and getting children ready for bed because I slammed my fingers in the dryer door and am afraid I broke them (I didn't). The days that leave me cleaning up an entire box of cereal off of the floor because I left the toddler unsupervised for "just a minute" so I could change out of my church clothes. Those days I turn around to discover the little one playing with the plunger, and brushing his teeth... with the toothbrush I use for scrubbing bathrooms. The days in which I find my children resistant to doing schoolwork and it feels easier to just give up and try again later.

The same days that cause me to sigh in exasperation because the child I told to lie down and nap is up and about, playing with toys and building forts. The quiet evenings that see tears (from my face and theirs) unbidden, unwelcome. The moments I yearn for good conversation, and a sweet friend calls at just the right time. The times that make me head to my room wearily, only to toss and turn for hours because I can't get comfortable in the big, empty bed. The nights that greet me with fitful sleep and aching muscles and fussy children and bad dreams. 

Those days in which I feel so inadequate to do this job. These days when I sit down on the couch for a moment, only to be smothered with kisses and feel tiny arms reach around my neck. Those days when I tell myself I wouldn't trade this life for anything in the world... but a few hours of extra sleep are certainly tempting me to waiver. The days I spend a few extra minutes rocking the napping child because I can't (don't want to?) muster the energy to get up and place him in his bed.

Those days that give me headaches and heartaches because this little family I love so much reminds me of my faults. Of my failures. And then, I'm reminded of those days in which I have been given much grace. But still, I struggle to give my children the same.

Lord, help me through these days. They are long and wearisome. But they are also fleeting.


Pault said...

Oh, Arlene, I so remember those days! Unfortunately, I still have them to some degree now that my kiddos are older. I'm with you and wouldn't trade them for anything. :)

Jendi said...

Hello! Long time no chat. I dusted off an old blog post today and saw a comment from you. Was so glad to see that your blog is still active.

After reading it - I just want to give you a hug! I will pray for you. Thank you for being a military wife.

Tori Leslie said...

Hey, I feel for you. I can't imagine how hard it is to be alone. Hang in there and have a lovely Christmas.